Cosas que NO debes hacer en Hogwarts

[Rabastan Lestrange]

Sorry que esté en inglés, tal vez algún alma generosa y bondadosa los traduzca para el público en general. Puse en bold mis favoritas, porque puedo.

• Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an "extra credit project for Herbology"
  "I've heard every joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
  I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'
  I will not negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
  I must not declare an official "Hug A Slytherin" day
  The giant squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
  I must not put out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
  Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon.
  I must not bring a Magic-8 ball to Divination class.
  I must not make fun of Prof. Lupin's 'time of the month'.
  I must not set up an underground dueling arena.
  I must not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc.
  I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
  I must not pay first years a galleon to pee in Mad-Eye Moody's hip flask.
  I must not use the Invisibility Cloak to sneak into the girl's dorm.
  I must not ask Prof. Trewlawny where she laid her eggs.
  I must not leave shampoo on Prof. Snape's desk with instructions on how to properly wash his hair.
  I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the Batmobile, Robin!"
  I must not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3 Sickles".
  Seamus Finnegan is not "After Me Lucky Charms"
  I will not buy Professor Lupin a flea collar
  There is no such thing as an 'Invisibility Thong'
  I must not ask Harry Potter who died and made him the boss.
  I must not point to Harry Potter's scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling.
  I will not sing "We're off to see the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
  I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps.
  I will not tell the first years to build a treehouse over the whomping willow.
  I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take bets on who will come out alive.
  I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
  Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
  If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, i am to assume that i am not allowed to do it.
  I will not tell the first years that professor snape is the voice of God.
  Putting a snitch in Malfoy's pants really isn't all that funny. Even if it does make him scream like a girl.
  I am not to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he'd forget his head if it wasn't attached - thats just cruel.
  I should not confess to crimes that happened before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.
  I Will not jump up, Yelling "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a Order or DA meeting.
  I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his "Happy place"
  "Swish and flick" is only a wand movement
  In the middle of a DADA class, I will not point my wand in the air and shout 'I've got the power!'
  I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
  Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".
  There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
  Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
  I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
  If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
  I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
  I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
  The condition of Professor Snape's hair has nothing to do with the Muggle movie "There's Something About Mary."
  I will not Polyjuice myself and a friend to look like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, then give each other passionate kisses in public.
  I may not sell Umbridge's quill to emo students, especially if they're no good at poetry.
  Singing "If I Were a Rich Man" around the Weasleys is rude

[Rabastan Lestrange]

Espero que no me reporten por spam. Algunas frases de conquista ridículas que supongo que voy a usar en algún momento XD De nuevo, en negrita mis favoritas just because I can.

• We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.
  
  I don't have an invisibility cloak but do you think tonight I can visit your restricted section?
  
  I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
  
  My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
  
  You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.
  
  Do you think you could take on a mountain troll in the bathroom like Hermione did? Would you be ready in five minutes?
  
  Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
  
  If you were a quaffle and I was a chaser during a quidditch match, I'd score with you.
  
  I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.
  
  Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
  
  You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.
  
  Want to go to the Hog's Head, if you know what I mean?
  
  Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.
  
  Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really Tri-Wizard, I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.
  
  I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.
  
  If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.
  
  Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.
  
  I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.
  
  How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?
  
  You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.
  
  A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.
  
  What do you say we disapparate out of here.
  
  Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake.
  
  - You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?
  
  - You know, when I said, Accio hottie, I didn't expect it to work!
  
  - I know my name's not Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood if you know what I mean.
  
  - If I try hard enough, I can get a really big patronus. All I have to do is think of happy things.
  
  - If I were going to produce a patronus, you'd be my happy thought.
  
  - Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?
  
  - I know you want me to manage your mischief!
  
  - You must not be a muggle, because you cast a spell on me.
  
  - You must be magical because I've fallen under your spell.
  
  - Want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.
  
  - You don't need defense against my dark arts.
  
  - Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?
  
  - The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.
  
  - I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.
  
  - I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.
  
  - Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  
  - If I were a Seeker and you were a Snitch, would you let me catch you?
  
  - I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.
  
  - Are you a bogart? 'Cause I have a fear of hot girls.
  
  - After a romantic night with me, you are going to need a timeturner because you are going to want to experience it again and again.
  
  - Are you speaking parseltongue? 'Cause you're talking to my snake.
  
  - Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.
  
  - They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.
  
  - What's the password to your portrait?
  
  - My heart's splinched without you.
  
  - Yeah, I've got a pretty good batch of polyjuice going, wanna taste?
  
  - I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.
  
  - You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.
  
  - Why dont i make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?
  
  - Your name must be Severus Severus 'cause you make my prince full blood.
  
  - Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.
  
  - What flavor are your Bertie Bott's?
  
  - I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.
  
  - I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.
  
  - How do I get into your Department of Mysteries?
  
  - Why don't you come tame my dragon?
  
  - Just like the Slytherin common room, how 'bout my snake in your dungeons?
  
  - I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!
  
  - Wanna play with my Sorcerer's Stones?
  
  - You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.
  
  - If you were a basilisk, I wouldnt mind dying just to look into your eyes.
  
  - Are you a dementor? Because you send chills up my spine.
  
  - I'm just like Oliver Wood, baby... I'm a keeper!
  
  - Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!
  
  - Frienze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.
  
  - My name isn't Neville, but i do have a longbottom.
  
  - Did you say Wingardium Leviosa? Cause you've got me rising, baby.
  
  - So your the Head Girl of your house, huh? hmm...
  
  - Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.
  
  - Oh, no everythings cool. I got the Fiendfyre treatment, no more crabbes.
  
  - Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'
  
  - Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.
  
  - Yeah girls call me Aguamenti; Everytime they hear my name, they get wet.
  
  - It's a portkey.... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.
  
  - I solemnly swear I am up to no good...
  
  - Want to learn to speak troll? I can get you grunting in no time.
  
  - Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

[Anisa J Arkwright]

¡Gracias por traducir! :3 Creo que la de Seamus Finnigan hace referencia al cereal ese que decía el enano irlandés que los niños estaban 'after me lucky charms' que eran los juguetitos que venían en la caja o los cerealitos en sí ;*

Seamus Finnegan no es "Después de mí Hechizos de Suerte" ((???))

Seamus Finnegan no está tratando de robarme mis encantos de la suerte

[Anisa J Arkwright]

No intentaré animar mágicamente mis malvaviscos (???).

Es otra referencia a comida americana, son unos malvaviscos que vienen dentro de huevos de chocolate, pero que tienen forma de animalitos.

[Cathleen Cowershof]

*0*... Posholate con animalitos de malvavisco por dentro... *se le hace agua la boca* yo quiero uno... seeehhh.... *spam**spam*
Anisa, no tienes más imagenes de esas??